Relationship 101?

relationships_or_relationsinksThey are never easy and basically, it’s trial-and-error from the get go. A hit or miss, and if you’re like most it’ll probably be a miss.. Therefore, it’s a relation-SINK.

Relationships are never easy but it shouldn’t be hard to put in the work. It should be effortless, especially when both want it.

There are good times and there are bad, but what is a “healthy relationship” anyways?

A healthy relationship should be being able to communicate with one another, respect each other, boundaries, compromise – There will be a lot of compromises because love is sacrifice. Well, just as long as it’s rational! A healthy relationship should always be support; You should be building each other up, not tearing each other down.

Rule #1:

Don’t ever rely on someone for happiness, that’s not the real world. Accept yourself first and foremost. Love yourself. Take care of yourself before anyone. Remember you’re GOOD ENOUGH and you can do whatever your heart desires and you put your mind to. You don’t need to allow someone to control your happiness, your happiness should come from YOU, then you share it with them.

Rule #2:

Agreements? Disagreements? Don’t expect to always agree, in fact – it’s normal to disagree. We’re only human, and we won’t always see eye to eye. Just make sure there is that mutual respect. Respect decisions because it’s also respecting the differences in your partner.

Rule #3:

Communication is key! I always tell my boyfriend that I’m not sure what kind of relationship we have is you can’t talk to me about things. It’s super important to express and find common ground, to be able to understand the other and see perspective from their point of view.

Relationships are a learning experience. You two share it together and learn from those experiences. Take the good with that bad, accept it. Move on. Don’t hold grudges about the past shit, cus’ guarantee you – it’ll always come up later on in some argument.

Which brings me to the next,

Rule #4:

Forgiveness. That is a decision made to move on from the past. Things happen but why carry it with you? Cus’ who is it gonna hurt in the long run? It will only hurt you more than your partner and eventually destroy your relationship. Focus on what really matters in the present time. If you repeat the same shit over and over, you will both get sick and tired of it. If you learned from the past, those same mistakes and decisions shall not repeat.

Rule #5:

TRUTH. Be honest with yourself and your significant other. Don’t ever sit here and lie to protect the next or yourself, lies create such a disconnected. And we’re women honey, we find out EVERYTHING. And the truth will eventually come out. Don’t ever deny your feelings, nor’ hide from your partner. If this is going to work, it comes from both ends.

Rule #6:

Admit your faults and apologize. If you need to give your partner time and space, so be it. But you must return and explain. Whatever the situation may be, we deserve a fair chance to speak. Express yourself.

Rule #7.

Time. Quality time is critical. No matter how busy you two are, if someone wants to see you – they will make the time for you. Even the slightest bit can bring such excitement. After all, when two are together – you feel your connection.

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1st post of 2018

 

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Hello fellow readers, bloggers, and world. It’s been over 6 months since my last post, so I’m not going to lie to you guys – it feels quite offbeat being back. I’m not sure where to inaugurate so I’m just throwing myself out there.

For many unaware, my health has been shit for about 4-5 months. It started out with everything I ate was making me feel nauseous. Eventually, it went away. Yet as that died down, it gradually took over my head. I was constantly disoriented, dizzy, light-headed; Truth is, the only time I felt “fine” is when I was sleeping, so I started sleeping more. Naps in the day got longer and I would sleep up until’ I had to go to work. It got even worse with headaches and migraines on the daily and I didn’t feel like myself. I would cry to my boyfriend saying that something worse was wrong and that I felt like I was losing my damn mind. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore.

However I did see myself freaking myself out more. I had gone for blood work and thinking of endless possibilities of what the disclosure could be. In fact, I was hoping something would appear just so I could have clarity with whatever it may be. I had called for my results a week prior to my 2nd appointment. I was babysitting at the time and was getting so anxious being on hold for about 10 minutes before the nurse got on to speak to me. When she did, she was thinking she had enlightened me by telling me all blood work came back negative for anything to be concerned about. I found myself inquisitive even more and asking how… I even told the nurse she disappointed me because in that moment I really felt like I needed to be in a psychiatric hospital. I was not making this up… Now I know I have had a few loose screws but this was the tip of the iceberg for me and I couldn’t take it any longer.

I only wanted to cry because nothing felt right. There came a point where I couldn’t even hold a conversations with people at my work and I felt like my responses were so slow – I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t, atleast it felt like it. Sensed even worse for my boyfriend because as good as he is to me, I was more anxious than usual. A few times he would have his arm around or on me at night in bed and I would fling it off and dart to the bathroom to be alone for a few minutes. I didn’t see how bad I would get overwhelmed with situations. I felt more moody and at this mark, I had also been late on my period. Now I was thinking, either I am pregnant and it was too early to detect in the blood work so I’ll have to wait a few more weeks or it was the stress of everything that had taken over.

This situation consumed me, my thoughts, and now my body.

Finally, the day had come for my appointment. Though I knew my results, I wasn’t sure what my doctor would want to do…. She tells me my blood work was normal, and then looks to me with compassion and tells me it’s my anxiety and depression. Can you believe that? 4-5 months of this bullshit for it to be only my anxiety and depression. Okay, so I have dealt with this… I live with this, it has NEVER been this bad before. I wanted to convince her it was something else. But who was I really trying to convince here, the doctor or myself? She said it was my built up stress that has caused my depression and that anxiety is just the cherry on top.

For the past two weeks, I have been taking Prozac as prescribed. Yep – That’s right! I have officially joined Prozac fucking Nation. Extremely anxious and hesitant to even take it, this was a reason I stopped taking my zoloft 3yrs ago; Because it gets worse before it gets better. I didn’t like having to rely on a pill to keep me “sane”. I found other outlets for it all but throughout time, I had fallen out of them and slowly transpired into combat… And I had only been losing against myself.

So there you have it. I ended 2017 with being another statistic and I am okay with that. I know that if I want to feel better, and genuinely be happy I will have to continue this path for a while. This journey has just started and I hope on the way I find more outlets I can stick with to help balance my chaotic emotions and ease my anxiety. It hasn’t been the easiest and I don’t expect it to be. I don’t want anybody’s pity or sorrow, I only ask for empathy amongst others. Because as I try to get clasp acceptance and understanding for thyself, I ask that others can respect the position first.

My suffering has been a blessing although I haven’t verified it yet. Despite that, I do recognize that things can be worse and they’re not. I know that I haven’t lost all hope and I am realizing that I needed to believe in more of me. However, the struggle isn’t over yet. I am stronger than my battles and I was destined to fight them – And face them head on, I shall. ♥

Welcome 2017! Here are some reminders…

  1. Take risks, for you only have one life to live. Get out of your comfort zone! Whatever happens, happens. It’s a blessing either way, if you win, you win. If not, well we all have to take a loss sometimes, but atleast you’ll be wiser- right?
  2. Think positive, you cannot live with a negative mind. Nothing good will come from critical judgement. Train your mind to see the positive in all situations, miracles are everywhere. Positivity is key, you can do this!
  3. Live freely, screw what people think or have to say. Do what makes you happy! Be you, be free, live in the moment. You’ll feel on top of the world with less cares.
  4. Be kind, this goes for yourself and others. Give a compliment to a stranger, hold doors open for people, offer them a helping hand, it doesn’t cost to be kind. It just needs a caring heart.
  5. Help people, you don’t need a reason to. Just do it, because you might be the only person who does. It’s the little things that mean the most and frankly, it goes a long way. Make a difference and be the change you wish to see in the world.
  6. Spread love, wherever you go or may be- don’t let one come to you without feeling happier. Your vibes is what’s going to attract your surroundings, make it a good one. Give hugs to one another, be at peace with those around you.
  7. Smile more, simply because you’re living and life is a beautiful journey. Smile because your smile is contagious and the world thinks so too! Plus, you still have teeth… Haha! You better show them.☺
  8. Give your all, it’s all about passion. If it’s not there, then don’t do it. But when you’re older and looking back on your years, you’ll know that you did all you could and won’t have to worry about the “what ifs” because you’d already given your best. You will be so grateful with the strength you had and how far you came since then.

Life is worth living & stories are worth telling.

Throughout this whole self discovery and finding balance within oneself, it’s still hard to fully believe that I am capable of achieving my long term goals. Truth, that’s where my anxiety plays a significant part…

It can be so stressful- The overthinking, over analyzing, the “what ifs & what nots”, I stress my own self out at times due to the hypothetical thinking; Cursed the mind of perpetual givin’ thoughts, it’s full of scenerios that are absolutely ridiculous and could no way in hell happen unless I fuck that up for myself- but even then, is that reality?

I have learned that even on my worst days, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay lose your shit, it’s okay to make mistakes, & it’s okay to even fail, however it is never okay quit. Never will I stop trying to be a better version of myself. And I damn sure won’t stop trying to better my future because I realize: I am capable of doing it. As difficult and stressful as it can be dealing with a worried soul & anxious mind, I know that nobody can stop me from what I want- Except myself. That’s where I draw the line, because I refuse to let the overthinking and breakdowns keep me from living & exceeding my full on potential.

Stronger than my battles, it doesn’t matter. I may struggle, but I won’t stop. And that’s what it is in all actuality: There will be obstacles. There will be mistakes. It is gonna be a lot of hard work… Time & Dedication- but nothing worth having ever comes easy.

I can do this.