Shattered Soul

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Your words stick to me like glue, but you’ll never realize – the damage you’ve caused along my brain.

It’s like a shot to my heart, causing skilled aim; your hit that only inflames my soul, drowning me in bloody shame.

What comes over you when you treat me like that?

You’re fucking me up and there’s no going back.

I never want to leave but I feel like I won’t be here much longer, because your hands on the trigger and your temper seems to get much bigger.

Maybe it’s my veracity that aggravates you or the way I gait back and forth, or maybe my screams that drive you berserk.

Well maybe it’s not me at all, maybe it’s you and having no self control. But what I don’t know won’t kill me, but it’ll surely hurt.

The more you open up pulls me in but when you belittle me, it’s like you beat me with a pistol. Your blows cause bruises along my body – until you can no longer recognize me.

Perhaps I can’t even recognize myself, therefore – Who am I anymore?

When I look in the mirror I don’t know who I’m looking at. You’ve dismembered my soul, and my bloodline runs flat.

 

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Poetic Sadness

No one understands what it’s like – to feel lost and lonely inside.

You wake up  wishing the pain would just go away, but it stays trapped in your mind like a vigorous wave.

Scars on my skin and scars on my soul; Some scars are exterior and others are within, they all tell a story but most stay hidden.

If you knew what went through my mind, you’d think the devil was confined. These demons have tried escaping through paper and time.

The tears I’ve cried are angels from heaven, they know I’m suffering carrying this burden.

I ask that that they keep me safe and heal my broken heart, but time will tell if I’m worth it or not.

Though this girl couldn’t be sad anymore, for I became numb. Somehow that got worse and death to a fixated curse.

Painted smiles on a face, it was the perfect disguise. It’s like a master at the brush telling infinite lies.

You see the dimples show through and a laugh so contagious, but my wrists are now stained and my eyes cry insane.

Not strong enough to continue any longer, so God take my soul – for this was too much to handle.

So I’m sorry to say that the devil has won the battle…

Now the angels cry of sadness as my funeral’s at the chapel.

Pain of the past

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This is something I wrote 2 years ago when I was in a dark place…

Looking back on the pain of the past, it still haunts my mind.

Looking back on the pain of the past, who would’ve thought all this time?

It haunts me like a monster underneath my bed, but these monsters scream terrifying memories all in my head.

Making my heart feel so caved in, like I’m drowning in the ocean for all my sins.

At night is when my demons come out to play, testing my sanity of such a long way.

Surrounded by four walls, crying in the dark, it hasn’t gotten better with the time on the clock.

3am: Still drowning in my sorrows. It’s the pain of back then that feels like there’s no tomorrow.

Flashbacks of the abuse and destruction, only kill me inside. Wondering when I’ll be saved and stop sinking in the tide.

Looking back on the pain of the past, it still haunts my mind.

Looking back on the pain of the past, who would’ve thought all this time?

Will the pain of torture ever go away? I’m a piece of shit and I live it everyday.

Pain of the past, it survives in my brain. Like scars on my wrist, it’ll always remain…