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Your name is always on the tip on my tongue, my lips call out for you as you’re the only one.

When our fingers intertwine, it’s like heaven without angels, because your affection is more than enough to carry my soul through all dangers.

Is this truth or reality? I don’t know if I am safe with you, but will you still come the day I tell you I need you?

You leave impressions on my heart that I will forever remember, yet how much longer will this last, givin’ we’re stubborn.

For better or worse, wrong or right- I defend your selfish wants like you’re entitled to despite.

Your skin so soft & I love the way you breathe. Your heartbeat next to mine, it puts me to sleep.

Breath taking life, I just wish you would feel, feel what’s going on- for your words are concealed.

Your actions (of reality) take place but they contradict, how am I suppose to know what’s real if you don’t show shit?

You give my body goosebumps that won’t go away. Your affection drives me as crazy as your drunken days.

Things get to me, and I am sorry that I can’t be perfect. I am too damaged, and truth is- I’m not even worth it.

I hate it when you avoid me, and even worse when you make me cry. Can’t stand that I’m so sensitive, we both know it’s ticking time?

So much has happened between us over these past few months, and it looks like you’ve said goodbye with no final touch.

No kiss, no hugs- just a bullshit text… Knew this was too good to be true, now I’m whose suffering with more overthinking thoughts.

I love you as a person- I love you as a friend, I only wish I was enough to keep this til’ the end. Your presence means more to me even on my worst days, you’re considered now and always.

This is a final note, sure to see you around and when I do, just know that my eyes go straight to you. You’re merely the person I see, your a good guy with selfish needs.

I forgive you for it all but do you forgive me? Guess time will tell, if this is meant to be, God will free.

Until’ then, your voice plays over in my head, making me feel crazier for words left unsaid.

So this is to the guy that made me fall for him over a little time, it’s your angelic eyes that pulled me in and the way you held me… I just wish you were mine.

F.P., this is for you- I’m so sorry I couldn’t make this right- but at night is when it hits and pours, tears on my pillow, I’m crying out for you more…

Pain of the past


This is something I wrote 2 years ago when I was in a dark place…

Looking back on the pain of the past, it still haunts my mind.

Looking back on the pain of the past, who would’ve thought all this time?

It haunts me like a monster underneath my bed, but these monsters scream terrifying memories all in my head.

Making my heart feel so caved in, like I’m drowning in the ocean for all my sins.

At night is when my demons come out to play, testing my sanity of such a long way.

Surrounded by four walls, crying in the dark, it hasn’t gotten better with the time on the clock.

3am: Still drowning in my sorrows. It’s the pain of back then that feels like there’s no tomorrow.

Flashbacks of the abuse and destruction, only kill me inside. Wondering when I’ll be saved and stop sinking in the tide.

Looking back on the pain of the past, it still haunts my mind.

Looking back on the pain of the past, who would’ve thought all this time?

Will the pain of torture ever go away? I’m a piece of shit and I live it everyday.

Pain of the past, it survives in my brain. Like scars on my wrist, it’ll always remain…